Golden Axe: Beast Rider

Good luck taming this gal

Even if the Golden Axe name doesn't ring a bell, there's a good chance you played it on the Mega Drive at some point - you know, the one where you were a dwarf in green, a woman in red or a He-Man look-a-like in blue with a bloomin' great sword. Yes, the old hack n' slash series is still spitting them out and this time Amazonian warrior Tyris Flame is back to fight Death Adder's minions solo.

If the first Golden Axe wasn't such an arcade classic, Beast Rider would simply be dismissed as another Dungeons & Dragons/Lord of the Rings rip-off (which we see now it always was). There's a bit of Lara Croft sexiness put into Tyris to appeal to the lads and nicer graphics this time around but really it's just business as usual; a warrior hacking away at countless enemies with a few combos and a couple of magic spells.

I pity the poor stable-hand who has to put the saddles on the beasts!

So for fans to whine that Beast Rider doesn't live up to the Golden Axe legacy is a bit like saying Blu-ray pales in comparison to VHS. It was a very basic hack n' slash game, nothing more. Beast Rider is very much the same thing, but with updated 3-D worlds and semi-realistic blood splatter. To say it's inferior to an old arcade game doesn't make a lot of sense unless you're mostly basing your opinion on nostalgia.

True, you only get to play as Tyris this time but Gilius Thunderhead (the dwarf) does appear in the story, as does Ax Battler (the He-Man bloke). Tyris's parents were murdered by Sauron- sorry, Death Adder, in the original game and now poor old Tyris is the last of the slain Axirian Priestesses; wiped out by Adder's minions so he can acquire the last living dragon.

This one is looking weak. Where do you stick the petrol pump in?

You can simply slice up enemies using Tyris's sword with normal or powerful blows, or dodge them by pushing the right button when an enemy glows; orange means evade, blue means parry and green means either. It's a case of coordination saving your ass, so the better you dance away from sharp objects, the more violent your retaliation will be (there will be blood. Lots and lots of it, hence the 18 certificate).